I say I say I say..... Crap joke thread #3

[HeathMan]

Found a long one

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came over and they gave their drink order.

'I would like a Sprite,' said the first little piggy.

'I would like a Coke,' said the second little piggy.

'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

'I want a nice big steak,' said the first piggy.

'I would like the salad plate,' said the second piggy.

'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

'I want a banana split,' said the first piggy.

'the chocolate cheesecake, with whipped cream, please', said the second piggy.

'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' exclaimed the third little piggy.

'Pardon my curiosity,' said the waiter to the third little piggy,

'But why have you only ordered beer all evening?'

You're gonna LOVE me for this....

The third piggy says -

'Well, SOMEBODY has to go "Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"

 

[Badger11]

3 Rabbits escape from a laboratory. On the first night they find a field of delicious carrots. On the 2nd night they come across some lady bunnies who are very happy to see them.

On the third night they discussed what to do.

1st Rabbit - I'm going back to that carrot field and eat as much as I can.
2nd Rabbit - I'm going back to the lady bunnies and I am going do only what us rabbits love to do.
3rd Rabbit - I'm going back to the laboratory.

First 2 Rabbits, "Are you crazy going back there?"

3rd Rabbit - Yeah I know, but I am dying for a cigarette.

 

[Teddy Eagle]

3 Rabbits escape from a laboratory. On the first night they find a field of delicious carrots. On the 2nd night they come across some lady bunnies who are very happy to see them.

On the third night they discussed what to do.

1st Rabbit - I'm going back to that carrot field and eat as much as I can.
2nd Rabbit - I'm going back to the lady bunnies and I am going do only what us rabbits love to do.
3rd Rabbit - I'm going back to the laboratory.

First 2 Rabbits, "Are you crazy going back there?"

3rd Rabbit - Yeah I know, but I am dying for a cigarette.

When Watership Down came out there was a butchers who had a sign saying:
You've read the book.
You've seen the film.
Now eat the cast.

 

[HeathMan]

When Watership Down came out there was a butchers who had a sign saying:
You've read the book.
You've seen the film.
Now eat the cast.

I thought it was

You've read the book.
You've seen the film.
Now try the stew.