I say I say I say..... Crap joke thread #3

Found a long one

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came over and they gave their drink order.

'I would like a Sprite,' said the first little piggy.

'I would like a Coke,' said the second little piggy.

'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

'I want a nice big steak,' said the first piggy.

'I would like the salad plate,' said the second piggy.

'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

'I want a banana split,' said the first piggy.

'the chocolate cheesecake, with whipped cream, please', said the second piggy.

'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' exclaimed the third little piggy.

'Pardon my curiosity,' said the waiter to the third little piggy,

'But why have you only ordered beer all evening?'

You're gonna LOVE me for this....

The third piggy says -

'Well, SOMEBODY has to go "Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"
 
3 Rabbits escape from a laboratory. On the first night they find a field of delicious carrots. On the 2nd night they come across some lady bunnies who are very happy to see them.

On the third night they discussed what to do.

1st Rabbit - I'm going back to that carrot field and eat as much as I can.
2nd Rabbit - I'm going back to the lady bunnies and I am going do only what us rabbits love to do.
3rd Rabbit - I'm going back to the laboratory.

First 2 Rabbits, "Are you crazy going back there?"

3rd Rabbit - Yeah I know, but I am dying for a cigarette.
 
Badger11 said:
3 Rabbits escape from a laboratory. On the first night they find a field of delicious carrots. On the 2nd night they come across some lady bunnies who are very happy to see them.

On the third night they discussed what to do.

1st Rabbit - I'm going back to that carrot field and eat as much as I can.
2nd Rabbit - I'm going back to the lady bunnies and I am going do only what us rabbits love to do.
3rd Rabbit - I'm going back to the laboratory.

First 2 Rabbits, "Are you crazy going back there?"

3rd Rabbit - Yeah I know, but I am dying for a cigarette.
Click to expand...
When Watership Down came out there was a butchers who had a sign saying:
You've read the book.
You've seen the film.
Now eat the cast.
 
From time to time I tell a joke that lists current Barbie Dolls. I told it today and thought about the scope of new Barbies.

New for 2026 could be Archbishop of Canterbury and Chancellor of the Exchecquer barbies.

While it may be thought that the first would be more expensive - vestments etc - the second would be more expensive as, in the popular style it could be offered with stainless steel pins.
 
I was just in Tesco's in Chatham when there was a woman (you know the sort, gold scrunchie, income support earring, slippers and a dressing gown) with 6 kids running riot.
She screamed "Archie, get 'ere" and all 6 came running.

Curious I said "Did you call all your kids Archie" she said "yes, it makes it easier if I want them all to get 'ere"

Even more curious I said "but what if you want one specific kid?" She said "that's easy, I just use his last name"
 
A not too bright chap is stuck on a crossword.

Another similar bloke sees him and offers help.

First chap says "I need an answer of six letters and then seven letters for a flightless bird that comes from Iceland"

The second says that is an easy one and the answer is frozen chicken.
 
Man walking down the road sees a shop with a grandfather clock in the window and goes in.
"Can you fix my watch"
"No. I don't do watches. I'm a mohel"
""What's that?"
"I circumcise people"
"Then why have you got a clock in your window"
"If you were a mohel what would you put in your window?"
 
Teddy Eagle said:
Man walking down the road sees a shop with a grandfather clock in the window and goes in.
"Can you fix my watch"
"No. I don't do watches. I'm a mohel"
""What's that?"
"I circumcise people"
"Then why have you got a clock in your window"
"If you were a mohel what would you put in your window?"
Click to expand...
Ben Casey - U18 - had minutes against Shelbourne. Perhaps he could have some more. May be still under 18, but one of ours. who seems to have impressed OG. Do transfers from our Academy count for transfer talk.?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page

Holmesdale Online Shop

Back
Top