Mateta

[Teddy Eagle]

How do you sell a crocked dog, that hasn't banged in goals for many a month, and has an appetite for premium dog food ?
Realistically, I don't see any takers. And certainly none who want to pay his agent's unrealistic wage demands
Mateta and his agent have just royally messed the entire situation up.

Maybe we could raffle him? Like the man who raffled a greyhound which was dead - didn't anyone complain?
Only the bloke who won so I gave him his money back.

 

[est1905]

Maybe we could raffle him? Like the man who raffled a greyhound which was dead - didn't anyone complain?
Only the bloke who won so I gave him his money back.

A raffle is not a bad idea. We could sell tickets at a fiver a pop and hawk him all round Europe (kind of like his agent was doing) showing videos of him when he scored and fudge over the 20 odd chances preceding each goal that he misses.
Should take some tickets down to the south coast on Sunday. I'm sure we can tempt Bloom to snap up a few thousand tickets 😉

 

[JHB]

A raffle is not a bad idea. We could sell tickets at a fiver a pop and hawk him all round Europe (kind of like his agent was doing) showing videos of him when he scored and fudge over the 20 odd chances preceding each goal that he misses.
Should take some tickets down to the south coast on Sunday. I'm sure we can tempt Bloom to snap up a few thousand tickets 😉

We should do a postcode lottery. The twist being you have to guess the post code his shots will end up in. (Hint: it won’t be the same one as the goal)

 

[Painter]

Footballers aren't known for their intelligence as being proved yet again by Mateta. He seemed keen to burn his bridges with Palace, when Milan showed an interest until they found out he is lame. Palace don't need him now they have signed Larsen, who wants to prove himself here.
I expect him to be sent off for surgery on his knee and away from the first team squad, then a few appearances on the bench at the end of the season to get interst to sell him.