I've spoken to someone ITK and this is exactly how is started in the square.
HF:
Alright you Strasbourg-studying weirdos – who said your lot were the “cultured travellers” just because you took a photo outside the cathedral?
Addo:
We were appreciating Gothic architecture. Something you wouldn’t understand – you thought a flying buttress was a new Palace signing.
HF:
Oi! If Oliver Glasner gave us a lecture on it, we’d understand perfectly. Man’s basically a philosopher with a 3-4-3.
Addo:
Glasner? Mate, you called him “the Austrian Pep” after two pints of Kronenbourg and a flammekueche!
HF:
Which one of you philistines said Strasbourg cuisine is “basically German tapas”?
Addo:
We said it and stand by it! And what you gonna do? Quote a Michelin guide at us?
HF:
We will, actually. Page 47. “A delicate interplay of…” – wait, someone’s nicked our bookmark!
Addo:
Look, our mob are the cultured ones. We visited the Musée d’Art Moderne.
HF:
And you said a painting reminded you of Mateta’s run-up for penalties. That’s not culture – that’s hallucinating.
Addo:
At least we didn’t try to recreate the HF Poznán on the Vauban Dam. Half your boys nearly fell in the river.
HF:
We were expressing joy! Yeremy Pino scored last week – we’re still processing the emotion.
Addo:
You ordered tarte flambée like it was a Croydon kebab shop. “Large one, extra onions, cheers boss.” The waiter cried.
HF:
We bring London charisma wherever we go.
Addo:
You bring noise. And misplaced clap timing during Glad All Over. Embarrassing.
HF:
Right, enough! We’ll settle this like cultured men.
Addo:
Recite poetry about Maxence Lacroix?
HF:
No. A flammekueche cook-off behind the tram stop. Loser buys everyone a round at Au Brasseur and admits that Chris Richards could outrun a Strasbourg tram.
Addo:
Deal. But if any of you turn up with pre-grated cheese, we’re reporting you to UEFA!
[Cue chair throwing]