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Santa Claus

As a child, i remember waking up on Christmas morning and going down to the living room to look for presents. I remember some slamming of doors in the middle of the night and some singing. Maybe that was Santa ? As I got downstairs, there'd be a few empty wine and sherry bottles on the floor, a few beer cans and some left-over take-away that Santa didn't have time to eat all of it.

And there were the presents. As my parents said, what more proof do you need that Santa really exists !?
 
Forest Hillbilly said:
As a child, i remember waking up on Christmas morning and going down to the living room to look for presents. I remember some slamming of doors in the middle of the night and some singing. Maybe that was Santa ? As I got downstairs, there'd be a few empty wine and sherry bottles on the floor, a few beer cans and some left-over take-away that Santa didn't have time to eat all of it.

And there were the presents. As my parents said, what more proof do you need that Santa really exists !?
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More compelling evidence. The jury is still out.
Actually I did see him at Chiesmans in Lewisham one year. He was more interested in chatting up the mums though.
 
"We spend all year telling our kids to avoid strange men and then at Christmas we tell them some bearded stranger is going to creep into their bedroom and leave them goodies and it's magic. No wonder our kids are f***ed up. "

Jasper Carrot loose translation.
 
Teddy Eagle said:
Maybe I'm getting more cynical with time but this story doesn't really hang together. He lives at the North Pole but his workshop is in Lapland? That's over 2000 miles away: maybe that's just bad planning but this whole flying around the world in one night and going to billions of houses? Seems unlikely. Also if he's providing all these presents why do they cost a fortune every year?
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Cheaper Outsourced Labour Typical business model. 🙂
 
i recall taking the kids to see Santa at the shopping centre. The old geezer sitting in the armchair was drugged off his t1.ts on xanax or whatever else they prescribe to ancient old nutjobs.
It was hilarious. He was barely able to keep his eyes open. Slurring his words and taking an eternity to answer any prompt.
 
becky said:
It was sitting on Santa's knee in Kennards Arcade that made me the woman I am today.

Long live Santa
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Oh er matron.
I remember the Santa in Kennards arcade, I also probably sat on his lap but have erased it from my memory.
Did they not also have donkey rides in the arcade? ( nothing to do with santas lap!)
 
It's a shame the true story of Christmas and nativity has been diluted down to a fat fella in a red suite handing out presents. But these are the times we're in I suppose. Kids enjoy it.
 
what kind of a normal fella is going to take a job as a Santa ? not exactly the chief exec of Google. Mostly its nutjobs, druggies and the longterm unemployed.
i recall, as a schoolboy, we had pegged the local Santa as being aggressive & gobby. You shout 'hiya Santa' from twenty yards away. The answer was like an aggressive Father Jack. "yis come here and say that and yis will be minus one or two balls".
Needless to say, his infamy and notoriety led to dozens of schoolboys descending upon the grotto to be insulted and threatened. Again, hilarious.

the management thinking "ah jaysus, is Frank at it again ?"
 
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