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Predictors that your new acquaintance will likely be a T0$ser

Any parent who allows their young children to intervene in an adult conservation or activity. "Dada's just talking to his freindy-wendy and having a drinky-poo"

I drink up and leave. I am not your captive audience to watch your parenting skills in action you bell-end.
 
Rudi Hedman said:
https://twitter.com/x/status/1834697921352089631
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Craft beer. That's enough. It's not even the people who drink it, well, it is a bit, it's more the people who go to places which specialise in craft beer. Some deliberately unfinished pop up with odd furniture selling kiwi fruit flavoured beer substitute which has as much in common with proper beer as a lemon scented moist towelette has in common with proper beer. Doesn't matter what it is either. Lager, bitter, IPA or stout is all preferable to a half pint of piddle made out of persimmon and guava at £6 a pop.
 
There are subtle give-aways you have to watch out for with the men. A casual look around the bathroom in the men's section might give clues.

Aftershave balm
body moisturiser
hair conditioner, made with yohobo nut, or some obscure plant being harvested to extinction.
lip moisturiser/gloss
5 blade razors
And other very specific items of their male grooming inventory, all having their own place in the bathroom cupboard.

I've always just been very uneasy about men who spend just that extra 30 minutes in the morning making themselves look and smell like something off the Abercrombie and Fitch website
 
People who treat their car like an extension of their house. Immaculate inside, floor mats dry-cleaned every week. Air fresheners stuck on the dashboard and hanging off the rear view mirror. And a rug and cushions on the back seat. When they go long-distance shopping, or out of the borough, they call it a 'Road trip'.

Child on Board sticker,.... 🤢🤢🤢🤢 the mark of the C-UNIT
 
Forest Hillbilly said:
There are subtle give-aways you have to watch out for with the men. A casual look around the bathroom in the men's section might give clues.

Aftershave balm
body moisturiser
hair conditioner, made with yohobo nut, or some obscure plant being harvested to extinction.
lip moisturiser/gloss
5 blade razors
And other very specific items of their male grooming inventory, all having their own place in the bathroom cupboard.

I've always just been very uneasy about men who spend just that extra 30 minutes in the morning making themselves look and smell like something off the Abercrombie and Fitch website
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An estimable list and all surefire indications of effete poncery with one exception. I use a 5 blade razor. Harry's (Kane? Maybe he shaves his tongue with his) and it is excellent. A lot better than the broken bottle I used for decades.
 
ASCPFC said:
The village people have aged surprisingly well.
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Only one of whom was actually gay.

My humour isn't for everyone but if I tell a killer joke and they just stare blankly.

Worse if they Interpret irony literally and take offence I make my exit.

All the above. Pointlessly outsized cars. Yelling at phone on loudspeaker. Blatantly inferior but somehow feel they can talk down to you. Women who are good looking but talk vaguely to you, without eye contact and make it obvious they are seeking a better conversation with somebody on their (higher) level.

Oh and eating on crowded public transport.
 
Forest Hillbilly said:
If I end up using a 5 blade razor, I shall curse you for you ponciferous endorsement. 😀
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With all due apologies for poncentatiousness they are really good razors. The blades are a bit pricey, Boots is cheaper for them, but they last a long time. I'm not on commission, honest Guv.
 
silvertop said:
Only one of whom was actually gay.

My humour isn't for everyone but if I tell a killer joke and they just stare blankly.

Worse if they Interpret irony literally and take offence I make my exit.

All the above. Pointlessly outsized cars. Yelling at phone on loudspeaker. Blatantly inferior but somehow feel they can talk down to you. Women who are good looking but talk vaguely to you, without eye contact and make it obvious they are seeking a better conversation with somebody on their (higher) level.
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Irony is an endangered sentiment. In the future everyone will hold up an app which shows the appropriate voice activated emoji to help explain.
No idea about your good looking women comment - does that really happen?
 
Forest Hillbilly said:
People who treat their car like an extension of their house. Immaculate inside, floor mats dry-cleaned every week. Air fresheners stuck on the dashboard and hanging off the rear view mirror. And a rug and cushions on the back seat. When they go long-distance shopping, or out of the borough, they call it a 'Road trip'.

Child on Board sticker,.... 🤢🤢🤢🤢 the mark of the C-UNIT
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YES!

House spotless. Car shyte hole.

Floor of my car cleared of kid detritus 3 times a year (even though it doesn't need it.)

Lifts never offered unless person able to document all necessary vaccinations and signs disclaimer.
 
Teddy Eagle said:
Irony is an endangered sentiment. In the future everyone will hold up an app which shows the appropriate voice activated emoji to help explain.
No idea about your good looking women comment - does that really happen?
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Yes sadly. Eyes shoot around the room but no contact with you. I want to hold their head still and shout EYE CONTACT!

(Of course I know I am paying the price for dozens of d1ck head blokes who precede me but it still irritates and I know we are never going to be chums)
 
silvertop said:
Yes sadly. Eyes shoot around the room but no contact with you. I want to hold their head still and shout EYE CONTACT!

(Of course I know I am paying the price for dozens of d1ck head blokes who precede me but it still irritates and I know we are never going to be chums)
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I have the opposite problem with gorgeous sorts constantly lasering in. It can get a bit intense.
 
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