Dumb Movie Plots

B

Badger11

Member
Location
Beckenham
Country
England
A bit of fun name a movie with a dumb plot and explain why it is dumb. You can still enjoy it but time to be a film critic.

My first offerings:

Raiders of The Lost Ark:
As explained in the Big Bang Theory everything that Indiana Jones does in the movie is irrelevant to the plot. If you remove him completely the story line would be the same. The Nazis would still end up the island with the ark.

Still enjoyed it though.

The Lost World Jurassic Park 2.
Terrible move terrible plot. Expert hunters scream, throw their weapons away and then get eaten ad nauseam.

Julienne Moore we are told is an expert in dangerous animals so she doesn't notice she is covered in blood which allows a T Rex to poke its head through the tent.

Typical Spielberg shot of hand holding the wheel of a ship pull back no arm no people alive. Meanwhile the dinosaur who ate the person is locked up in the hold so what it it do eat the crew and then get back in the hold and close the doors.

I could go on more holes in the plot than in Moan United's defence.
 
Badger11 said:
A bit of fun name a movie with a dumb plot and explain why it is dumb. You can still enjoy it but time to be a film critic.

My first offerings:

Raiders of The Lost Ark:
As explained in the Big Bang Theory everything that Indiana Jones does in the movie is irrelevant to the plot. If you remove him completely the story line would be the same. The Nazis would still end up the island with the ark.

Still enjoyed it though.

The Lost World Jurassic Park 2.
Terrible move terrible plot. Expert hunters scream, throw their weapons away and then get eaten ad nauseam.

Julienne Moore we are told is an expert in dangerous animals so she doesn't notice she is covered in blood which allows a T Rex to poke its head through the tent.

Typical Spielberg shot of hand holding the wheel of a ship pull back no arm no people alive. Meanwhile the dinosaur who ate the person is locked up in the hold so what it it do eat the crew and then get back in the hold and close the doors.

I could go on more holes in the plot than in Moan United's defence.
Click to expand...
Snakes On A Plane.

A crime lord arranges for a time-release crate full of deadly snakes to be placed in the cargo hold of a plane. The reason for this? An attempt to bring down the plane before it reaches LA because it has a key witness on it.

Is that the best way to bring down a plane? Surely you want to target the plane itself, which may or may not have autopilot, the pilots, or just the witness himself? Utterly farcical just from the premise.

Bonus points for the name which ruins any semblance of mystery around what might be about to take place after take off.
 
BromleyMonkey said:
Sharknado……..but I do know that it’s supposed to be a bit of a piss take and the films are not meant to be taken too seriously
Click to expand...
😀

Yup more thinking about films we are supposed to take seriously.

Lucy (Luc Besson)
Woman takes overdoes of drug her brain capacity fully develops so IQ off the scale. All right so far, then it gets silly, having a high IQ in Hollywood land means you must have super powers such as telekinesis and time travel, so its special effects and kick ass action here we come.

It's a pity the film briefly touches on the more interesting aspect. If a person did use 100% of their brain instead of the 10%* how would they treat the rest of us. Would they see us as just ants and of no consequence? Nah let's just go with her beating up guys instead.

*Its a myth we only use 10% of the brain there is no way to measure so maybe we are using 100% now.
 
Legend of Sleepy Hollow (Johnny Depp)

Spoiler alert for those who have not seen it.

I liked the film until the ending which is stupid. Someone is killing off the locals but is eventually defeated by Dear Johnny. The villain actually faked their death to avoid being a suspect and so they could collect the inheritance. Hang on if they are dead how do they explain that when collecting the money? We never find out because they fail but it doesn't make sense, that this villain has outsmarted everyone and then does this dumb thing.

James Bond (almost every movie)
Why don't the villains just shoot Bond when they capture him (they always do at some point). It's rinse and repeat, we are shown the evil cruel ruthless villain who kills extras without even a thought, but then when it comes to Bond...... Austin Powers parodied this trope in the first movie, very funny.
 
Jaws The Revenge

Chief Brody is dead, which is probably the luckiest thing that happens in this movie. His widow Ellen becomes convinced that sharks operate like assassins and have sworn a vendetta against her family.

The shark murders her son, then immediately commutes thousands of miles to the Bahamas to continue its blood feud. No explanation. It just knows.

"highlights" include
  • Ellen Brody develops psychic shark-sense.
  • The shark roars underwater, because why not?
  • The finale: sometimes the shark explodes, sometimes it just gives up—a bit like a symbol of the whole movie.

Michael Caine’s review remains the best part of the film:

“I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific.”
 
Lord of The Rings Trilogy

Why doesn't Gandalf just ask the eagles to fly Frodo straight to Mount Doom. Oops there goes 3 movies and billions of dollars profit.
 
Every American Cop Show (NCIS / Blue Bloods / Law & Order etc.) Okay it's not a movie.

Cops in plain clothes (not identifiable as cops) are hunting for a suspect. They spot him 100 yards away and instead of continuing to approach him in an unsuspicious manner Yell stop police giving the villain a good head start in a run chase.

This cliche has replaced the 1970's car chase where someone has conveniently left a stack of empty cardboard boxes for the cars to knock over. I mean how often do you see empty cardboard boxes neatly stacked in an alley way.
 
Badger11 said:
James Bond (almost every movie)
Why don't the villains just shoot Bond when they capture him (they always do at some point). It's rinse and repeat, we are shown the evil cruel ruthless villain who kills extras without even a thought, but then when it comes to Bond...... Austin Powers parodied this trope in the first movie, very funny.
Click to expand...
Much as I’m a bond fan, that has always bugged me, right from when I was a kid and goldfinger said to bond “no mr bond, I expect you to die” and my dad shouted out “well shoot the b****** then” 🤣
 
Badger11 said:
😀

Yup more thinking about films we are supposed to take seriously.
Click to expand...
Fair point

How about superman films, when all he has to do is put a pair of glasses on and no one recognises him?

Note that’s the only thing that I find strange in a film where the hero wears his underpants on the outside, has a cape and who can fly so fast round the world he can make the earth spin in the other direction and turn back time 🤣

Okay, I suppose we’re not supposed to take that too seriously either 🤣
 
Badger11 said:
Legend of Sleepy Hollow (Johnny Depp)

Spoiler alert for those who have not seen it.

I liked the film until the ending which is stupid. Someone is killing off the locals but is eventually defeated by Dear Johnny. The villain actually faked their death to avoid being a suspect and so they could collect the inheritance. Hang on if they are dead how do they explain that when collecting the money? We never find out because they fail but it doesn't make sense, that this villain has outsmarted everyone and then does this dumb thing.

James Bond (almost every movie)
Why don't the villains just shoot Bond when they capture him (they always do at some point). It's rinse and repeat, we are shown the evil cruel ruthless villain who kills extras without even a thought, but then when it comes to Bond...... Austin Powers parodied this trope in the first movie, very funny.
Click to expand...
100% agreed re Bond. In some cases it is even the same villian (eg Jaws; Blofeld). You'd think they would learn from their mistakes!
 
Badger11 said:
Legend of Sleepy Hollow (Johnny Depp)

Spoiler alert for those who have not seen it.

I liked the film until the ending which is stupid. Someone is killing off the locals but is eventually defeated by Dear Johnny. The villain actually faked their death to avoid being a suspect and so they could collect the inheritance. Hang on if they are dead how do they explain that when collecting the money? We never find out because they fail but it doesn't make sense, that this villain has outsmarted everyone and then does this dumb thing.

James Bond (almost every movie)
Why don't the villains just shoot Bond when they capture him (they always do at some point). It's rinse and repeat, we are shown the evil cruel ruthless villain who kills extras without even a thought, but then when it comes to Bond...... Austin Powers parodied this trope in the first movie, very funny.
Click to expand...
Why did they not just do the original classic story?
 
Nutmegyeti said:
Jaws The Revenge

Chief Brody is dead, which is probably the luckiest thing that happens in this movie. His widow Ellen becomes convinced that sharks operate like assassins and have sworn a vendetta against her family.

The shark murders her son, then immediately commutes thousands of miles to the Bahamas to continue its blood feud. No explanation. It just knows.

"highlights" include
  • Ellen Brody develops psychic shark-sense.
  • The shark roars underwater, because why not?
  • The finale: sometimes the shark explodes, sometimes it just gives up—a bit like a symbol of the whole movie.

Michael Caine’s review remains the best part of the film:

“I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific.”
Click to expand...
I think that is probably the silliest.

However, Caine has got some cheek to comment. The Swarm? Blame it on Rio? Water?
 
Gladiator

Joaquin Phoenix allows Russel Crow to live after they first meet in the Arena. About as likely as a crime-free day in Croydon.

Silence of the Lambs franchise.
Hannibal is treated like some kind of a superbrain. Believed to be an important aid to catching other serial killers. And somehow submits a crossword puzzle that gets printed in a newspaper and cryptically gives the home address of Ed Norton to the other super-clever serial killer (with whom he is in a clandestine crypto-newspaper communication). Hannibal having got the home address by phone-hacking. About as likely as King Charles vising Croydon alone, to buy socks & sausages.

Terminator One.
Swarzennegger apparently dies after taking a few bullets at a nightclub - and then comes back to life. And at other times himself, and many other terminators take a barrage of machine gun fire without even flinching.

T2
The baddy terminator can shape-shift yet chooses to continuously default back to a cop whose cover was already blown.

Terminator....the final woke piece of shyte
a four foot bird beats up two or three big gang member lads - they then follow her as Colonel of a mini crew. Yeah roight

Breaking Bad
The crime-lords continuously forgive Walter White his various transgressions. On the grounds that he cooks better meth than anybody else. And he also manages to keep his intellectual property rights. they even know where he lives in suburbia. In the real World, he would have been disappeared a million times over.

The Sopranos
Tony tolerated that much incompetent shyte from junkie Chris.....especially writing a tv sitcom about The Mafia - with a smiling Tony sitting in the audience for the grand opening.

Every James Bond movie
Every problem is solved by being good at kung fu. Especially the woman kung fu expert in the Jonathon Price movie. She beats up a hundred henchmen who all conveniently wait in turn to fight her.

I reckon you can only watch most movies if drunk or stoned these days. More holes than the chassis of an old Renault.
 
Last edited:
My wife is a big fan of Murder She Wrote (I know it's TV not a film) starring Angela Lansbury, and I am delighted it amuses her, but I have to say nearly every episode seems to me to be virtually identical. In the final scene the local Police sargent bursts into the room to save our heroine from certain death.
 
BromleyMonkey said:
Much as I’m a bond fan, that has always bugged me, right from when I was a kid and goldfinger said to bond “no mr bond, I expect you to die” and my dad shouted out “well shoot the b****** then” 🤣
Click to expand...
how all the Bond villains seem to have already heard of him. The Roger Federer of spies.

How the middle-aged permanently single Mr Bond always finds true love with a money-obsessed hooeer that previously belonged to a baddie.
 
Last edited:
Palace Old Geezer said:
My wife is a big fan of Murder She Wrote (I know it's TV not a film) starring Angela Lansbury, and I am delighted it amuses her, but I have to say nearly every episode seems to me to be virtually identical. In the final scene the local Police sargent bursts into the room to save our heroine from certain death.
Click to expand...
It's worse than that. The most famous other actor/ actress is always the killer. About three to ten seconds in you know who it is accordingly.
 
ASCPFC said:
It's worse than that. The most famous other actor/ actress is always the killer. About three to ten seconds in you know who it is accordingly.
Click to expand...
Like Columbo where the guest star was the killer, apparently it was Patrick McGoohan x 4 and
Robert Culp x 3, who was always rich and always insisted on hanging around his flash house to try and outwit the wily investigator instead of just moving away.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page

Holmesdale Online Shop

Back
Top