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Things you can't unsee

becky

becky

Moderator
Staff member
Location
over the moon
Country
England
As the credits rolled after Casualty and I started to gather myself together to go and put the kettle on, they cut to a preview for Match of the Day. There in all his glory was Gary Linnekar, wearing a pair of those weird modern clingy trousers that look stretched all down the calves and fit where they may at the top.........as he stood there, extolling the joys to come after the 10 o'clock news did he have any idea that he was clearly showing the male equivalent of a camel toe, making his tackle look like two conkers in an old sock? Will anyone in the BBC wardrobe department be held to account for this abomination? Will my eyeballs ever recover from the horror they have seen?

Does anyone actually care?



I'll never be able to look at a conker in the same way again.
 
becky said:
As the credits rolled after Casualty and I started to gather myself together to go and put the kettle on, they cut to a preview for Match of the Day. There in all his glory was Gary Linnekar, wearing a pair of those weird modern clingy trousers that look stretched all down the calves and fit where they may at the top.........as he stood there, extolling the joys to come after the 10 o'clock news did he have any idea that he was clearly showing the male equivalent of a camel toe, making his tackle look like two conkers in an old sock? Will anyone in the BBC wardrobe department be held to account for this abomination? Will my eyeballs ever recover from the horror they have seen?

Does anyone actually care?



I'll never be able to look at a conker in the same way again.
Click to expand...
If they're looking for volunteers to knock those conkers loose with a stick there will be quite a queue.
 
becky said:
As the credits rolled after Casualty and I started to gather myself together to go and put the kettle on, they cut to a preview for Match of the Day. There in all his glory was Gary Linnekar, wearing a pair of those weird modern clingy trousers that look stretched all down the calves and fit where they may at the top.........as he stood there, extolling the joys to come after the 10 o'clock news did he have any idea that he was clearly showing the male equivalent of a camel toe, making his tackle look like two conkers in an old sock? Will anyone in the BBC wardrobe department be held to account for this abomination? Will my eyeballs ever recover from the horror they have seen?

Does anyone actually care?



I'll never be able to look at a conker in the same way again.
Click to expand...
You poor thing, its bad enough just looking at Gary Lineker, never mind having his meat and two veg displayed in your living room, you may need counselling, 😱
 
men over a certain age.

I once saw a man over 65 in West Sussex, who thought he still had the legs to wear cropped cycling shorts as he walked to the bakers of a morning.

I think the F1 mob started it with Coulthard, et al, wearing the skinniest trousers.

Unfortunately, Becky has now stained my mind with a virtual image of Lineker strutting his stuff, with that self-satisfied smug grin that you want to punch with a club hammer
 
Things you can’t unsee? Something has stayed with me all my life from when I was a young kid in the early 70’s. As an innocent young schoolboy, I was sitting on the floor in the book corner and our teacher mrs spearing bent down in front of me to pick a book up. Now obviously as an 8 year old I’d never seen up a ladies skirt before, but she was all tackled up and as it was the 1970’s she clearly hadn’t shaved her legs for god knows how long, there was a few rolls of fat as well.
Honestly I’ve never forgotten it, definitely burnt the back of my eyeballs and scarred me for life

I don’t think I remember seeing my dad laugh so much ether when I tried to explain it to him.
It’s funny how I can’t remember stuff from last week, but something like that has stuck with me for 50 odd years
 
BromleyMonkey said:
Things you can’t unsee? Something has stayed with me all my life from when I was a young kid in the early 70’s. As an innocent young schoolboy, I was sitting on the floor in the book corner and our teacher mrs spearing bent down in front of me to pick a book up. Now obviously as an 8 year old I’d never seen up a ladies skirt before, but she was all tackled up and as it was the 1970’s she clearly hadn’t shaved her legs for god knows how long, there was a few rolls of fat as well.
Honestly I’ve never forgotten it, definitely burnt the back of my eyeballs and scarred me for life

I don’t think I remember seeing my dad laugh so much ether when I tried to explain it to him.
It’s funny how I can’t remember stuff from last week, but something like that has stuck with me for 50 odd years
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Yikes. Sounds like you stared into the maw of the Devil's Punchbowl.
 
Presumably, a complaint to the BBC is in the offing? I would like to see the reply.

Am I the only one who can't unsee Ryan Giggs with his top off? Well me and his brother's wife. Bear or wolf doesn't really cover it - and certainly on the back too. Like an out of control 70s crooner who has bathed in Regain and then lathered themselves in Just for Men.
 
becky said:
As the credits rolled after Casualty and I started to gather myself together to go and put the kettle on, they cut to a preview for Match of the Day. There in all his glory was Gary Linnekar, wearing a pair of those weird modern clingy trousers that look stretched all down the calves and fit where they may at the top.........as he stood there, extolling the joys to come after the 10 o'clock news did he have any idea that he was clearly showing the male equivalent of a camel toe, making his tackle look like two conkers in an old sock? Will anyone in the BBC wardrobe department be held to account for this abomination? Will my eyeballs ever recover from the horror they have seen?

Does anyone actually care?



I'll never be able to look at a conker in the same way again.
Click to expand...
from some of your posts I'm surprised at your squeamishness, clearly becoming a bit more discerning with age. When we played conkers in the playground if one of them dropped the opponent could shout 'stampsies' and said article would be flattened underfoot. I think you'd happily give Gary's this treatment. And there were different types - I presume Mr Lineker is not in possession of cheese cutters?
 
Seems like an incredible double standard to me. Women are allowed to walk about in warm weather with 90% of their bosom on show. I've totally forgotten where I was going with this.
 
I was doing factory work last year. I was getting changed into whites, and was sitting on a bench tying my shoe laces.
The fat guy standing next to me, decides to change into his white trousers, so with his @r53 at my eye level, he pulls his trousers down, while simultaneously bending forward.
As soon as I caught what was happening in my peripheral vision, my brain was going into automated CTRL/ALT/DELETE mode, and the image was vapourised from my mind.

Obviously , it has still stained my mind to some extent, that someone could be so fking thoughtless with their fat @r53.
 
It was the mid eighties. It was a typical sleepy suburb town off the A23. I was not even in senior school. An unknown young striker called Ian Wright had just signed for the club.

The object which was unseeable? The wife of the couple next door but one to us. More specifically, the wife of the couple next door but one to us as she stormed out of her house, saucepan in hand, having hit a home run. The ball was the poor, unsuspecting cranium of her husband as he left the house uttering something presumably offensive to her.

I can still hear the echo of the "gong" now and remember the scratching of his trembling fingernails on the garden path. Stunned and embarrassed in equal measure, he crawled at speed in order to escape the second innings. Then he ran off out of the street.
 
A wonderful image conjured there. Richie Benaud, microphone in hand
"Shot ! That's gone through silly mid-off to the boundary" 🙂
 
RubinsCube said:
It was the mid eighties. It was a typical sleepy suburb town off the A23. I was not even in senior school. An unknown young striker called Ian Wright had just signed for the club.

The object which was unseeable? The wife of the couple next door but one to us. More specifically, the wife of the couple next door but one to us as she stormed out of her house, saucepan in hand, having hit a home run. The ball was the poor, unsuspecting cranium of her husband as he left the house uttering something presumably offensive to her.

I can still hear the echo of the "gong" now and remember the scratching of his trembling fingernails on the garden path. Stunned and embarrassed in equal measure, he crawled at speed in order to escape the second innings. Then he ran off out of the street.
Click to expand...
On a similar sort of thing of domestic violence, something I’ll never forget, I was gardening out the front minding my own business about 20 years ago, when a bloke came casually walking up the road with a baseball bat in hand and started setting about my neighbours car with it. It was quite shocking because we don’t live on a council estate it’s quite a nice little road, nothing exciting or controversial ever happens along here.
Turns out our neighbour had been playing hide the sausage with this blokes wife. I think what has always stuck in my mind was how casual he was about it in broad daylight, he even mumbled to me ‘morning’ has he strolled off down the road after he’d done the deed
Fair enough though, you shag my wife, I smash your car up 🤣
 
BromleyMonkey said:
On a similar sort of thing of domestic violence, something I’ll never forget, I was gardening out the front minding my own business about 20 years ago, when a bloke came casually walking up the road with a baseball bat in hand and started setting about my neighbours car with it. It was quite shocking because we don’t live on a council estate it’s quite a nice little road, nothing exciting or controversial ever happens along here.
Turns out our neighbour had been playing hide the sausage with this blokes wife. I think what has always stuck in my mind was how casual he was about it in broad daylight, he even mumbled to me ‘morning’ has he strolled off down the road after he’d done the deed
Fair enough though, you shag my wife, I smash your car up 🤣
Click to expand...
At least he took the bat to the car, not the pair of cheaters, if it was on a council estate instead of your leafy neighbourhood it might have gone that way
 
BromleyMonkey said:
On a similar sort of thing of domestic violence, something I’ll never forget, I was gardening out the front minding my own business about 20 years ago, when a bloke came casually walking up the road with a baseball bat in hand and started setting about my neighbours car with it. It was quite shocking because we don’t live on a council estate it’s quite a nice little road, nothing exciting or controversial ever happens along here.
Turns out our neighbour had been playing hide the sausage with this blokes wife. I think what has always stuck in my mind was how casual he was about it in broad daylight, he even mumbled to me ‘morning’ has he strolled off down the road after he’d done the deed
Fair enough though, you shag my wife, I smash your car up 🤣
Click to expand...
You batter my wife’s back door, I batter yours ?
 
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