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Part Chav Eats Semi Posh Cheeses

I think some of these brand cheeses you're going for are the equivalent of Limeswold and Churnton, manufactured fake originals, don't get something that's like brie or camembert, just get brie or camembert not some lab creation with a picture of a dying ploughman or bucket carrying maiden on the front - it's all lies, like Werther's Originals. Now where's my Cracker Barrel?
 
ex hibitionist said:
I think some of these brand cheeses you're going for are the equivalent of Limeswold and Churnton, manufactured fake originals, don't get something that's like brie or camembert, just get brie or camembert not some lab creation with a picture of a dying ploughman or bucket carrying maiden on the front - it's all lies, like Werther's Originals. Now where's my Cracker Barrel?
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Make sure you only use original crackers - not some copies in similar coloured packets. Inferior flour and inferior taste and consistency.
 
Shame you missed it, but last week was Italian food offers at Lidl...... got some lovely, proper tasting Provolone. Salty, sharp and slightly nutty - like Emmental but with attitude.

Having a home made pear and provolone tart for pudding tonight....... 😋😋😋
 
becky said:
Shame you missed it, but last week was Italian food offers at Lidl...... got some lovely, proper tasting Provolone. Salty, sharp and slightly nutty - like Emmental but with attitude.

Having a home made pear and provolone tart for pudding tonight....... 😋😋😋
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ooh, suits you sir! And Bath Olivers for crackers I say, what part of Oliver will I be bathing you might ask, but no cracker is worth that much.
 
Onto the penultimate cheese in this niche adventure.

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Oh man, this was truly disgusting. It was like eating congealed Persil cleaning powder. It looked interesting and colourful but this soft cheese has a soul of pure evil intent. It's French and if William the Conqueror had invaded but had forgotten his swords and spears then he could have won at Hastings with just this horrible barstard.
Jadore? Yeah, show it the door more like.

My Rating -5
 
The final cheese.

1741777206084.webp

All good things come to an end and even average and slightly crap things come to an end and so it must be so with our little exploration of Tesco cheeses here.

Hell, my waistline has been complaining since the third cheese in and I'm finally relenting.

The cheese then, well I really have to say that 'Smoked Vintage Red Fox' mostly holds true to its name. As soon as you eat a piece the smoked favour hits you big time....Smoked it surely is, I felt like I was instantly on 40 fags a day. The salt content was pretty high. nearly akin to licking some actual salt or a bitter feminist. I don't know about 'vintage' but if age makes something crunchy and a little crumbly then I can certainly believe that. Red? Yep, it looked pretty red-like.....but Fox? Here it definitely fell down as it distinctly misses any favour of Fox.....whatever that would be.....Maybe some cheesy foxes would disagree.

My rating 7.7
 
Well done Stirling! I dare not think how many belt notches you’ve gone up and how bloated you must’ve been feeling doing this. If you’d have rocked up at Selhurst I might have mistaken you for Jo Brand.
 
Stirlingsays said:
The final cheese.

View attachment 749

All good things come to an end and even average and slightly crap things come to an end and so it must be so with our little exploration of Tesco cheeses here.

Hell, my waistline has been complaining since the third cheese in and I'm finally relenting.

The cheese then, well I really have to say that 'Smoked Vintage Red Fox' mostly holds true to its name. As soon as you eat a piece the smoked favour hits you big time....Smoked it surely is, I felt like I was instantly on 40 fags a day. The salt content was pretty high. nearly akin to licking some actual salt or a bitter feminist. I don't know about 'vintage' but if age makes something crunchy and a little crumbly then I can certainly believe that. Red? Yep, it looked pretty red-like.....but Fox? Here it definitely fell down as it distinctly misses any favour of Fox.....whatever that would be.....Maybe some cheesy foxes would disagree.

My rating 7.7
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And made by local dairy, Belton Farm! From your description I would have averred it was a GM generated curd enhanced with E-number colourings and a syringe fill of liquid smoke, but apparently not. A Red Leicester made in Shropshire. If you can find a Double Gloucester made in Norfolk and a Cheshire Cheese made in Surrey please let me know.
 
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