Next time Parish appoints a manager, can someone get hold of a few 1990s copies of Shoot and Match magazine and dig out the old You’re the Manager sections?
They used to contain wonderfully obvious tactical questions. Things like: “Liverpool love attacking the Kop in the second half. You’ve won the toss. What do you do?”
I’d love to see what answers Sage would come up with.
Because I’d have paid good money to hear his half-time team talk today.
“Right, lads. We’ve kept it relatively tight. It’s been a bit of a s*** game, but we’re still in it. So here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to push everyone forward, leave enormous gaps at the back and hope nobody notices.”
It’s straight out of Blackadder Goes Forth. Field Marshal Haig moving his toy soldiers another six inches across the map, convinced that this time the Germans won’t see it coming.
And that’s the problem. Decent sides at this level know exactly how to exploit it. The moment we push the wing-backs on, the opposition realise there’s an absolute motorway behind them and start running into it.
It’s not as though they’ve uncovered some revolutionary tactical secret. They can see our three centre-backs can’t cope with the space they’re being asked to defend.
Yet we keep doing it. Again and again.