Can Donald Trump be the next Palace Manager ?

[PalazioVecchio]

- he has admitted to 'knowing a lot about soccer'
- is well connected in higher echelons & the offices of the great & good

- can do magic with large sums of money
- has a lot of popular support

- can get Elon Musk to write some AI software to help with the tactics
- knows a great deal about 'Defense'

- Red, white & Blue.
- More agreeable than Roy Keane & Al Ferguson.

 

[ASCPFC]

I guess if P Diddy and Gadaffi didn't quite work out.

 

[Mark B]

- he has admitted to 'knowing a lot about soccer'
- is well connected in higher echelons & the offices of the great & good

- can do magic with large sums of money
- has a lot of popular support

- can get Elon Musk to write some AI software to help with the tactics
- knows a great deal about 'Defense'

- Red, white & Blue.
- More agreeable than Roy Keane & Al Ferguson.

Ladies and gentlemen, Palace supporters, and the greatest football fans in the world!

I am absolutely delighted to announce that I am the new owner of Crystal Palace Football Club. Nobody knows football better than me. Nobody. I've watched at least three matches, and frankly, they're tremendous, my teams always win.

First, Selhurst Park. Beautiful stadium, terrible name. We're going to rename it Trump Tower Stadium. Much bigger, much better, and probably with gold seats.

We're going to build the greatest team that football has ever seen. We're talking Mbappé, Haaland, Messi, and plenty of other players whose names I cannot pronounce. If they don't want to come, we'll sue them. Believe me, we've got lawyers everywhere.

Pierre Sage? Fantastic manager, terrible defense though. Just awful. But we're going to make some changes. VAR will be replaced by TRUMP: The Referee's Ultimate Match Police. Every decision will go Palace's way. Tremendous!

And the Premier League title? It's coming to South London. We're going to win so much you'll get tired of winning. I have an extensive list of “investors” lining up to bribe me, I mean, invest in the club. Man City will be child’s play compared to the trillions that I plan to invest. The Saudis have already bought the team a new plane, it’s beautiful. Very nice.

Finally, to Brighton & Hove. You're all losers. Absolute disasters. Such a stupid name. Seagulls, very weak compared to Eagles. If I could find Brighton on a map, I’d put sanctions on them.

Crystal Palace is going to be HUGE. The biggest club in England. Maybe the world.

God bless Crystal Palace and let’s Make Palace Great Again!

------

Drinking Tecate while watching FC Juarez gives me too much free time.

And by coincidence, Trump is the them to tomorrow's skeleton them. Today was actually Palace.

 

[Stirlingsays]

Make Crystal Palace Great Ag....

Well, just make Crystal Palace Great.

 

[Teddy Eagle]

Ladies and gentlemen, Palace supporters, and the greatest football fans in the world!

I am absolutely delighted to announce that I am the new owner of Crystal Palace Football Club. Nobody knows football better than me. Nobody. I've watched at least three matches, and frankly, they're tremendous, my teams always win.

First, Selhurst Park. Beautiful stadium, terrible name. We're going to rename it Trump Tower Stadium. Much bigger, much better, and probably with gold seats.

We're going to build the greatest team that football has ever seen. We're talking Mbappé, Haaland, Messi, and plenty of other players whose names I cannot pronounce. If they don't want to come, we'll sue them. Believe me, we've got lawyers everywhere.

Pierre Sage? Fantastic manager, terrible defense though. Just awful. But we're going to make some changes. VAR will be replaced by TRUMP: The Referee's Ultimate Match Police. Every decision will go Palace's way. Tremendous!

And the Premier League title? It's coming to South London. We're going to win so much you'll get tired of winning. I have an extensive list of “investors” lining up to bribe me, I mean, invest in the club. Man City will be child’s play compared to the trillions that I plan to invest. The Saudis have already bought the team a new plane, it’s beautiful. Very nice.

Finally, to Brighton & Hove. You're all losers. Absolute disasters. Such a stupid name. Seagulls, very weak compared to Eagles. If I could find Brighton on a map, I’d put sanctions on them.

Crystal Palace is going to be HUGE. The biggest club in England. Maybe the world.

God bless Crystal Palace and let’s Make Palace Great Again!

------

Drinking Tecate while watching FC Juarez gives me too much free time.

And by coincidence, Trump is the them to tomorrow's skeleton them. Today was actually Palace.

View attachment 4530

Looks like a beefier Peter Crouch.

 

[PalazioVecchio]

"My wife Melania will oversee new player recruitment. She knows all about Soccer too. She will bring in some amazing new players to wear the red, white & blue at America Park. And as for Sadiq Khan ? that guy is a stone cold Liverpool fan. "

 

[samprior]

No wall when defending freekicks then. Although in each press conference he'll promise that next week we'll have a big one, a massive one, the best one that anyone has ever seen.

 

[PalazioVecchio]

Finally, to Brighton & Hove. You're all losers. Absolute disasters. Such a stupid name. Seagulls, very weak compared to Eagles. If I could find Brighton on a map, I’d put sanctions on them.

We will be putting Trade Tariffs onto all Blue & White shirts/flags in the Brighton area. The only permissible flag, with those colours, is linked below. We will be providing assistance to Anan Khalaili in the implementing of this policy.
The end of Brighton Pier will be installed with Patriot Missiles in order to keep Channel Traffic moving. This being necessary following France becoming a Kip.

 

[ASCPFC]

We will be putting Trade Tariffs onto all Blue & White shirts/flags in the Brighton area. The only permissible flag, with those colours, is linked below. We will be providing assistance to Anan Khalaili in the implementing of this policy.
The end of Brighton Pier will be installed with Patriot Missiles in order to keep Channel Traffic moving. This being necessary following France becoming a Kip.

View attachment 4532

I thought Brighton Pier collapsed into the American Channel.

 

[Teddy Eagle]

I thought Brighton Pier collapsed into the American Channel.

I thought it was rhyming slang.

 

[PalazioVecchio]

From the River Thames to the Sea. Using our flying drones, Both the South-Bank and the West-Bank will be scoured for any hidden renegade Millwall fans & Butchers. Especially any underground ones. Their stock of provisions will be handed over to Kayla for disposal.

We must ensure that there is no effective delivery-system working between The Den and Croydon. The Golan Heights of Denmark Hill have been effectively declared a Millwall free zone.