pretend transfer talk

Location
Hastings
Country
England
You have to come up with names, invented or otherwise, that sound like the types already being mooted. A bit of detail would be nice. I'll start...

Sharmi Chakrabati ... lefty and pretty quick, good cover for Mitchell, civil rights activist, dame, former head of Liberty and part of the new government, might be attorney general but she might also be free on Saturdays.

Massalah Dosa - fried flat bread folded in half with spicy fillings. Can play anywhere it doesn't make any difference because he's only an expensive samosa.
 
Seb Coe. Because he’d run rings round the opposition.
 
Dot Cotton in goal. Cos she’d be good at keeping clean sheets.
 
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Boris Johnson. A proper winger.
 
God anywhere. Cos he’s good in the air.
 
Ron Jeremy as sub. Cos he’s good at coming from behind.
 
Hitler as out and out left and right winger.
 
Donald Trump in defence to set up the wall at free kicks.
 
Father Christmas in defence. Need I say more?
 
Pol Pot anywhere on the field. Cos he’s good at killing off the opposition.
 
Gordon Ramsay up front cos he’s good at bullying the opposition.
 

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