A sandwich short of a picnic

[ex hibitionist]

Got socially accosted by a lonely, needy sort the other day, bit like the guy in the first inbetweeners film who keeps bumping into them, regaling some anecdote to a silent response, and wanting to make friends too much. Bless him, but the phrase which is the title of this thread sprung to mind the other night down the local so I was wondering what other phrases you might know or can come up with to describe persons so afflicted. I'll start...

A scotch egg short of a hamper
A herring short of a smorgasboard
A sponge finger short of a trifle

and any spin offs from 'the lift doesn't go all the way to the top' would be nice. 🙂

 

[Nicholas91]

Got socially accosted by a lonely, needy sort the other day, bit like the guy in the first inbetweeners film who keeps bumping into them, regaling some anecdote to a silent response, and wanting to make friends too much. Bless him, but the phrase which is the title of this thread sprung to mind the other night down the local so I was wondering what other phrases you might know or can come up with to describe persons so afflicted. I'll start...

A scotch egg short of a hamper
A herring short of a smorgasboard
A sponge finger short of a trifle

and any spin offs from 'the lift doesn't go all the way to the top' would be nice. 🙂

'A few biscuits short of a tin' has always been my favourite.

 

[Teddy Eagle]

Terry Pratchett said something like - he was a nice day, a couple in love, a bottle of wine, a basket of sandwiches, a cloth to sit on and an army of ants short of a picnic.

 

[Eagleman13]

A sandwich short of a picnic
Grape short of a bunch
Pebble short of a beach

 

[Teddy Eagle]

A coupon short of a toaster.

 

[martin2412]

Hasn't got both oars in the water

 

[Stirlingsays]

'If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.'

If someone's nice and well meaning though I don't really care how dim they are.

 

[PalazioVecchio]

my old Office-manager was a few pages short of a Fax.

Uefa are a few Lap-dances short of an episode of The Sopranos.

Gary Lineker is a few Vegan Samosas short of a University faculty of Women's Studies.

Antifa are a few Polling-stations short of winning an election.

 

[Willo]

I recall having a political contretemps with a gentleman who got exceedingly exasperated with me and having lost the argument he resorted to personal insults. With steam coming out of his ears he stormed out bellowing that I was not the "Brightest bulb in the pack".

 

[BromleyMonkey]

One rung short of a ladder

 

[Palace Old Geezer]

- One can short of a six pack
- Sixpence short of a shilling
- One condom short of an orgy

 

[PalazioVecchio]

He is a bungalow......a) got nothing upstairs or b) got toys in the attic. c) the lights are on but nobody's home.

 

[ouzo]

An apple short of a bushel

 

[blackgirl3]

in the garden with jahr 😕

 

[Eagleman13]

The lights are on, but, no-one's home

 

[PalazioVecchio]

"that fella is cracking jokes. He seems to think he is a wit. Well, he's half right.

 

[Teddy Eagle]

He's got all six cans but not the plastic thing that holds them together.

 

[Nutmegyeti]

A little bit “Dagenham”

A few stops short of Barking

 

[Teddy Eagle]

When they were handing out brains he was standing there with half a walnut shell.

 

[Runningman]

When they were handing out brains he was standing there with half a walnut shell.

My dad used to say..
When God was giving out heads, you thought he said beds.
And asked for a soft one ! 😀